Choices
by Gabs
Summary: Post-Revenge. Tony and Ziva analyze her actions and consider what's ahead.


_I loved the episode. I loved Ziva's badassery. The only thing missing was some Tony and Ziva time at the end, so here I am. It's a little bit fluff, a little bit angst... flangst? Is that a thing?_

* * *

It was no surprise when he let himself into Ziva's apartment and found it lit only by the kitchen light. The balcony door was ajar, and he could feel the cool breeze drifting in. Moving to the doorway, Tony caught sight of her, legs curled under her on a chair, unopened wine and an empty glass on the small table beside her. She didn't acknowledge him, but he knew she'd noticed his presence. After a moment of companionable silence, he found his voice.

"You and Gibbs were in the director's office for a while," Tony offered lamely.

"Mmm."

"How did it go?" At this, Ziva sighed quietly.

"I do not wish to talk about it right now, Tony."

"All right." With a shrug, Tony moved to sit in the other chair.

"All right?"Ziva questioned. Tony shrugged again, and she eyed him suspiciously.

"Since when do you simply agree to that?"

"You don't wanna talk about it; I can respect that. At least you're finally being honest with me." Setting her jaw, Ziva turned back to her silent observation of the city. Tony, in turned, took the opportunity to look her over. In the darkness, the damages inflicted by Bodnar were hidden, but the stiff way she held herself was not. Inspiration struck.

"You know what you need?" he asked brightly.

"No, but I suspect you are going to tell me."

"A bubble bath."

"What?"

"Yep. A nice, hot, relaxing bubble bath. Just what the doctor ordered. Now come on, let's get moving." He hopped to his feet and held out a hand; after only a moment's hesitation, Ziva took it. She allowed him to lead her to the bathroom, then stood back and watched idly as he prepared the bath. While the water ran, he searched under the sink for bubbles.

"Lavender vanilla... good choice. Very soothing." When he was finished, he stepped back out of her way. "I'll wait outside while you get in, and you let me know when I can come back inside." Ziva almost challenged his assumption that she wanted him in the room while she was in the bath, but fought back the urge. He was right; she no longer wanted to be alone tonight. She undressed quickly and stepped into the water, sighing with relief as it warmed sore muscles.

"You can come in now, Tony," she called. He reappeared moments later, an extra towel in his hand. Spreading the towel on the floor, he got comfortable and then looked at her again. He couldn't hide a flinch as he saw clearly the bruises and cuts along her face and neck.

"It looks worse than it feels," she offered.

"Doubt it," he replied lightly. Smiling, Ziva closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Tony's eyes traced what was obviously the outline of a chain against her throat; without thinking, his fingers came up to follow. Her eyes flew open, but she didn't push his hand away.

"Cut it pretty close tonight," he whispered. She didn't reply, but to his surprise, she didn't look away either. The moment was interrupted by the buzzing of her cell phone in the kitchen.

"Want me to go grab that?" Tony offered. She shook her head, and they lapsed into another comfortable silence. Tony continued studying her face, and noticed immediately when something darker passed over her features. He decided to wait it out rather than pry. Eventually, she ran a hand through her hair and glanced at him again.

"I have experienced bloodlust and the thirst for vengeance before. I know that even once you have it, there is no sense of accomplishment, no peace. Just more emptiness. And I realized something tonight: I really have not changed at all." Tony frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"All these years, all this talk of finding something different in life, and at the first opportunity, I throw it all away and revert right back to what I was made to be. Like a snake, crawling back to discarded skin."

"Ziva, that's not true."

"Are you telling me you're ok with what I've done tonight? What I've done the last few months?" Her gaze sharpened as she waited for his response.

"No, Ziva, of course that's not what I'm saying. I'm not ok with it at all. Frankly, it was terrifying, even for someone who's so familiar with your many skills. You got quieter, you started sneaking around, you started keeping secrets... it all brought back very bad memories of the weeks before Somalia. Even in some of the quieter moments, there's been an edge to you. So no, I don't like it, and no, I'm not saying I'm ok with it. What I AM saying is it's not fair to let a few hard months completely erase years of progress. You have changed, by your own choice, and everyone sees that, Zi. Everyone."

"A leopard cannot change it's dots, Tony. I may wish to be a different person, but when forced to act on instinct... you see what happens."

"You're being too hard on yourself."

"You will not be saying that in a week, when my actions bring the wrath of Homeland and a thousand other agencies down on us."

"They can throw whatever they want at us. We'll be ready."

"I will not ask you to put your career on the line for me. My personal vendetta almost got you killed already. This is exactly why I did not wish to involve you."

"I'm already involved. I was involved the moment that bastard hurt you."

"Tony, you are too good for this. You are the only one who tried to get me to let it go; you should not go down with me." Tony frowned.

"I noticed that too, actually. The way Vance and even Gibbs subtly encouraged you to keep pursuing it. If Vance thinks he's gonna throw you to the wolves and come out with his nose clean, he's got a lot to learn."

"I made my choices, Tony. I am prepared to live with the consequences."

"I've made my choice too, Ziva. Where you go, I go." Her eyes met his again, and she tentatively reached her hand out. He scooted closer and laced his fingers with hers.

"Seriously. Whatever happens, I'm on your side. Nothing changes that."

"Thank you, Tony." With a slight smile, she leaned her head back and relaxed more fully than she had in months. Tony continued leisurely running his thumb along the back of her hand. He accepted that this would be their last chance at peace in the coming weeks. As his mind drifted back to Berlin, Tony thought that just maybe there was something worthwhile waiting on the other side.


End file.
